After an exasperating morning session in one of India’s top IT firms, I looked away from the screen to provide some relief to my tired eyes. Though I was just looking for a relief, there was a treat waiting right next to me. At 5 ft 5 inches, plump yet not too stout structure, the complexion of a fair and lovely model and typical south Indian dressing style, the girl sitting next to me was definitely dream wife material for all testosterone charged desperate men. She seemed to be struggling with the first line of a simple java program, as a chivalric gentleman,I was obliged to help her (though it did help start a conversation with the fair maiden).
After the customary name exchanges, she blurted out her frustration of working in the IT field, “Programming is so tough, I am considering quitting my job and getting married!” (What a reason to get married!)
The next day happened to be Friday, the only day corporates lease you the freedom to choose your own attire (#Friday dressing). I was surprised to find her in her usual salwar even on that day. I asked her the reason for her choice of clothes, and she dint fail to shock me with her answer, “my boyfriend doesn’t like me wearing jeans!” (So much for the freedom and independence of women!)
After an outing with all our colleagues the following weekend, I offered to drop her home in my car since we lived in the same locality. She declined my offer with a reason that surprised me yet again. ”sorry, but my father doesn’t like me to travel alone with a boy!”
Engineer by degree, IT professional by occupation, this young woman is the representative of urban working class female population of the country. Her attitude is the reflection of the young women of the nation (except for the small segment of modern women in the metros who Bollywood endorses as the majority) .Her intimidation and inhibitions leads to the demand for rise of a new wave of post modernization feminism.
THE NEED OF THE HOUR
The feminism waves of 40s and 70s ensured that the ladies of the age broke away from the chains of the household and became a equally contributing part of the work force.But that is not enough.We need a new wave of feminism that ensures change in two attitudes.
- Attitude of men towards women
- Attitude of women towards women
Women needs to break away from the cliched tag of “traditional,homely” and start respecting themselves and their decisions to become truly independent. This wave of feminism comes to life when women follow these golden rules:
Don’t let marriage/your life partner define you.
Wear traditional clothes only because you like them not because someone else wants you to
Never spend your adult life dependent on a male in your circle be it father/boyfriend/husband.
Make your own decisions and stick to them.
If a so called “well-wisher” asks you to dress sensibly please put on your best smile and ask them to STFU!
Because the problem not in the dress but in their eyes and you can’t help it.
Don’t stick to your job because it is a “safe-for-girls” job. Follow your passion. You deserve the right to be anything you want from painter to porn star, because it’s your life.
Never wear the clothes you don’t like because you want to feel safe in public. Next time you want to feel safe wear your favorite clothes and add a pepper spray/taser/AK47 to your accessories.
If your bf “asks” you to marry him
show your ring finger
If your bf “tells” you to marry him
Show your middle finger.
I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men,
they are far superior and always have been
– William Goldling